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When I was little I was taught to play the piano by a lady called Miss Mattingly. And she was the scariest old bat you’ve ever met. While my sister played Für Elise perfectly, I struggled with everything. As if failure wasn’t humiliating enough, she would pull out her ruler and smack me over the knuckles when I played a wrong note. Genius – the kid mucks up, you’d better hit her, that’ll make her improve. I walked out and started learning the flute. How embarrassing. You have a lot to answer for Miss Mattingly.

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